Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
