If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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