my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
