no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
