Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
