I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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