PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
