do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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