Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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