My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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