why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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