32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
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Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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