i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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