i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
