Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I AM VODKA MAN
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
