if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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