I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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