Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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