zippers are such a cool invention
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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