brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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