Just mADE A PArabola og urine
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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