what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
its not stalking. its research.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
