i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
