is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
