did you get engaged???
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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