I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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