My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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