So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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