Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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