Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She made me pour olive oil on her.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
