it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm too high and old for this...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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