I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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