He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
