Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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