oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Acid is not a monday night drug
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
