Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
