My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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