oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
