fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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