I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize