I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Randomize
