yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
