The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
