I'm drive I can fine osifer
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
