Buhtt sex?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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