I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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