is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
