Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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