Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
