This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
