My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
