I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
