The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize