I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
