he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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