I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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