you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Girls should come with a carfax report
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
