My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Alive.
So much puke
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
