So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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