Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
