I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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