Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Apparently you make a good broom.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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