At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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