there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
