so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
